[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Tuesday, June 14th, 2005|
Summary of my date last Thursday:
I left home (Tammy's) at 10:30pm. Christian and I saw 'Episode 3'. It got out about 1am.
We went to his Greenfield. We went to Denny's. Hung out till about 3:30am.
We went to his house and watched 'Mallrats.'
We showered at 10am. I was home a little after 11am.
I didn't sleep at all that night.
We are now (and I quote) "involved."
this Thursday. Current Mood: amused
|Wednesday, June 8th, 2005|
FYI. Patchouli was hit by a car. She was found by one of the men who works at the horse farm near where Tammy lives. They tried to call Tammy's number, but the number on her tags was a digit off. And I had my cell phone turned off cos my parents don't know I have it. They managed to call the vet's number from her rabies tag who gave them my number. Eleanor woke me up and told me; I talked to them. After getting the necesary information, I called Tammy, told her, and she came to pick me up. Isn't it amazing how in times of need you can get dressed in a few short minutes? We eventually found the right barn where they were keeping her and got her. She was awake and actively trying to move around. It was clear that she was in pain and unable to use her legs or move her tail. She had lost control of her bowels all over the paper bag they had laid her on. I exchanged the bag for a towel. As the vet clinic had been informed, they were ready and prepared for our arrival. It was discovered that she had broken her back, had lost a kidney, and was internally bleeding. She was paralyzed from the midsection down, unable to feel anything. She started bleeding from the rectum and was very quickly slowing down. I was forced to make the decision to put her down. I've had many pets. All in all, I have/have had 4 cats, 8 dogs, 4 guinea pigs, 4 rats, 2 mice, and lots of fish. I am no stranger to pet deaths. But this was different. This wasn't the family pet. This was my cat. I took her in when no one wanted me to and I spent a lot of time, energy, effort, and money to keep her healthy. This was my baby. Current Mood: depressed
|Tuesday, June 7th, 2005|
So I might have a date on Thursday. I met Christian at a poetry thing downtown several months ago. I haven't seen him for six months. We turned into penpals, then cellpals. We'd email each other, updating the other on our life. When I got a cell phone, we upgraded. We play phone tag. You call me at this time today, and I'll call you at that time tomorrow. Every missed call is a strike. Three strikes descends you into another circle of hell.
ANYWAY. So I mentioned that I had talked to this guy for half an hour outside Barnes and Noble last night and we made plans to see each other. Right. This is that guy. It's the one day neither of us works. I have him complete freedom to decide what we'll be doing. He mentioned maybe a movie but he needed to think of something creative,
Should I be worried? This could be anywhere from dinner and a movie to drinking games and wild kinky sex. But, knowing him, it'll likely (probably. hopefully.) be something with poetry in it, cos that's how we met. We'll see. Maybe this isn't even a date. Maybe this is just a couple friends hanging out. You never know. I guess I'll see. Current Mood: anxious
I bought two new cds last night. I feel gluttonous. I love this artist (I will leave him unnamed and innocent). He has many cds out cos he's been around for ages. I only had his most recent three and have been scoping the older stuff to find out what I'd like. After dinner last night, Heather and I went to Barnes and Noble. I spend the first half hour outside on my cell phone talking to a boy. We secured plans and I finally went inside. ~I work at a library. I refuse to use my cellphone in any place that sells or rents out books.~ I spend fifteen minutes trying to decide which of the two cds I wanted (they were the two cheapest and two that I knew I wanted. Listening to little clips of them, I decided to splurge like the music whore that I am and buy them. Now I am warm and happy. Now I shall go dance like a maniac to my old school techno and be happy. Then I will vaccuum the entire house. Yippe. Don't you just love summer? Current Mood: satisfied
|The Daily Om (Article)
June 2, 2005
Choosing Your Family
Everyone has a right to surround themselves with supportive, accepting, and loving people. The selection of those people can be expressive of a large variety of relationships: parents, children, friends, extended family, or even caregivers. Many people put the highest priority on their familial relationships, but it is not unusual to find that one's values, goals, or choices differ from those of one's family. You may not feel that your personality is a good match with the members of your family. Or your outlook may be significantly different than that of your relatives. When this is the case, it's only natural to begin creating a network of friends and confidants that give you the closeness and security that was lacking in your family relationships.
Preferring friends to family, occasionally or all the time is entirely normal and is in no way reflective of any failing on your part. Your relationship with family members can be compared to a relationship with coworkers - circumstance has joined you together and you can make the best of it without finding it satisfying. In forming your own "family," you are given the opportunity to let go of the resentment and stress associated with your biological family and to choose what relationships you feel are meaningful. You may find you enjoy spending time with your created family more than you enjoy spending time with your traditional family. This shouldn't be a source of guilt. Life is too short to associate with people simply because you feel an obligation, particularly if those people are hurtful or judgmental. You're better served associating with people who you find kind, who inspire you, and with whom you can relax, whether they are friend, family, or loved one.
Forming your own family does not mean you need to entirely distance yourself from your biological family. It simply means you can interact with them freely when necessary, knowing that you have built up a healthy support network of people who give you the love you need. Creating your own family is a means to establishing an environment that is positive, nurturing and, ultimately, lastingly rewarding. Current Mood: peaceful
|The Pseudo Family
I've been working at the library for two years. That's where I met Tammy. Tammy is a children's librarian in the evenings. As she and I have similar senses of humor, belief systems, and overall think similarly to each other, we got to talking. Then we got to hanging out. I met her husband, Dave, and her daughter, Kate. I gradually began spending all my time over at their house. Although none of them are vegetarians, they always had lots of vegetarian food. Many of their friends are vegetarians. They enjoy eating vegetarian foods. So it was no problem for me to eat there. But they began buying/doing things specifically for me. My present this last Christmas was a bedroom with a futon and desk. Then they added a bookcase, some shelves, a cell phone, and a computer. I'm spoiled rotten and I love it. I have the freedom to come and go as I please (I finally have a house key) and decorate my room as I want (black and white theme). My birthday is this November. That's when I move in for real, no more having to go home at curfew or ask permission or anything. As long as I help clean house (as I clean all the time, this is so no issue) and babysit Kate when necessary (she loves me, also no problem), I live rent free with free food. As they're planning to have a baby (Tammy may/may not be pregnant), some things might change. There's talk of us writing up a contract for me being their au pair. Then I can put this business on my resume. And if I ever decide to travel out of country, it might make it easier to get a job. These are my people. This is where I belong. As much as I love my biological family, we clearly don't belong living together. This is where I want to be. Current Mood: grateful
Total fucking freedom
Stay up late
Sleep in late
Socialize or hide inside
The freedon to do whatever the fuck you want